After I wrote about Bix, I was in a good mood.  I like writing Hard-Boiled stuff.   My mood improved even more when I realized that my guy is a bit dumber than the only other hard-boiled characters I have read: Dennis Lehane’s Patrick Kenzie, who I wrote about a few days ago, and Nelson Demille’s John Corey, who I’ll get to in a minute.

I have never claimed to be all that original a writer, and Whiskey Sean Food Detective isn’t breaking any literary ground, but the style seemed to be my own.  But then I remembered Calvin, of Calvin & Hobbes fame, who would occasionally assume the identity of Tracer Bullet, ace private investigator.

Nearest I can tell, Whiskey Sean is one half John Corey, and one half Tracer Bullet.

So who is John Corey?   Pretty much the coolest cat in fiction.  

Yesterday I picked up Nelson Demille’s NightFall, to wash away the aftertaste of the first chapter of another book I had just started.  Here is a perfect little scene, where John, an Ex-New York Copy, is being confronted by a territorial FBI agent.

We both remained silent for a while and stared at each other. I love these macho-eyeballing contests, and I’m good at them.

            Finally, he said, “Your wide, as she may have told you has never been fully satisfied with the final determination of this case.”

            I didn’t reply.

            He continued, “The Government is satisfied. She---and you--- work for the government.”

            “Thanks for the hot tip.”

            He looked at me and said, “Sometimes the obvious needs to be stated.”

            “Is English you second language?”

…..

…..

            He added,  “If you retired—or got fired---tomorrow, you could spend all the happy hours you want looking into this case. That would be your right as a private citizen, and if you found new evidence to reopen the government’s case, then God bless you. But as long as you work for the government, you will not, even in your off-duty hours, make and inquiries, conduct any interviews, look at any files, or even think about this case. Now, do you understand?”

            I keep forgetting that nearly all special agents are lawyers. But when they speak, I remember. I said, “You’re making me curious. I hope that wasn’t your intent.”