Not only have i not been writing here much, I haven't been writing at all.. Except for the odd email to some of my company's new hires:


You are not the first bootcamper to cite alarm clock issues since arriving on their projects.

There was absolutely no harm done by you coming in forty-five minutes later than usual this morning since you still beat the client in,   so donÂ’t take any of the following personally,  but just for the record (and to be perfectly clear) The "Alarm Clock malfunction" excuse, and all of it's permutations ( "Wake up call didn't come", "Slept through my alarm")  carry absolutely no weight in the real world.

There is no excuse for over-sleeping during the work week. What I mean by 'No Excuse' is that not only shouldn't it happen,  the whole idea of it should be scratched from existence.  Serengeti plainsmen have no word for Snow, and adults  should have no word for 'overslept'.  I am not being fanciful here,  I submit that our parent's never never considered Getting Out of Bed On Time a herculean task, much less considered proffering  it as an excuse.   No,   sleeping too late shouldn't even be an option. I repeat, so that it sinks in,  SLEEPING TOO LATE SHOULDN'T BE AN OPTION.   I am tempted to suggest that you make it a point of pride that no matter how drunk, or how little sleep you got, you are going to wake up and get to work on time and in the right frame of mind, but I am reluctant to encourage pride in something YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO.

I don't know what went wrong in the last thirty-some years where even the PHRASE 'sleeping through an alarm' has entered the lexicon, much less the act itself,  but my hope here to impress upon you that the phrase should be rendered NONSENSE on par with "French Resistance" and "Honey, it's alright if we miss kick-off lets pull over and help those fat chick's fix their flat tire".

I do recognize that the phenomena, however alien to me, does exists, and I can appreciate the difficulty in putting the cat back in the bag, but I encourage you to do so.

Here are some tips that might help.

1. Redundant Alarms DO NOT WORK.  I believe they cause more harm than good because they introduce the idea that the Alarm might be optional.  

2. Get more Sleep. Seriously, the 6 or 7 hour of sleep standard that has become the norm is a travesty.  Get your 8 hours (or more!).  The theoretical-goal is that you should wake up naturally without an alarm, and amongst people who consider health and performance sacrosant, this goal is practical and pragmatic.*

3. In general itÂ’s better to  start your work day before the client  so if something happens, like traffic, or car issues, or whatever, you have time to recover.

4. If you wake and realize that you are going to be late for something, immediately call or email ahead so your lameness doesn't affect others.

5. If you do "oversleep"   you are better off just offering a brief and sincere "Sorry I am late" and withholding your excuse until you you have a private moment where you can own up to  your shameful wussiness.   I mean c'mon, you wouldn't apologize for missing a conference call with "I was about to break the high-score on Ms. Pacman so I decided to finish the game instead" , so don't try "I didn't hear my alarm". You're a grown man. Grown men have been getting to work on time since there was work to get  to.

It's what we do.


*Having won the debate about carbohydrates, and currently winning the debate about the relative ineffectiveness of exercise as a way of managing body composition, I have turned to my eye towards sleep, and a major pillar of health , longevity, and fitness. More to come on this in later posts I am sure.